STARTING SCHOOL WITH A LUMP IN THE STOMACH

Now we have passed the start of school and there were many expectant children with butterflies in their stomachs who were looking forward to seeing their friends again after a long summer holiday. Unfortunately, there are many children in Norway who do not have butterflies in their stomachs when they go to school, but a bad lump of fear and worries. It can be about bad experiences, a lack of security, or the feeling of not being seen or understood. It can be about professional, social or physical challenges that are not recognised. It may be that it is not organized well enough or perhaps not organized at all. The list is long. Løvemammaene know many of these children.

Silje, aged 7, started second grade. She has been really dreading the start of school. In 1st grade, she kept telling her mum and dad that she didn't want to go to school, that she was often sad and that she didn't feel well there. The school dismissed her parents' concerns, saying she was doing well; "because she smiles a lot and is active in her free time". 

What the school has not realized is that Silje is struggling with an invisible illness. At first glance, you would never have thought that Silje was ill, but if you had looked in her journal, of over 600 pages, you would probably have understood. You had understood that Silje needs help and facilitation to get through the school day in a good way. You had understood that it is wise to listen to the recommendations of Silje's doctors, but the school does not recognize Silje's complicated medical history. It's like they suspect her of pretending to be sick. They believe that they are able to handle her challenges themselves, without any measures or resources. In March, at the end of Silje's first school year, a genuinely happy girl finally appeared again. That was when schools closed due to the coronavirus. Now the lump in my stomach is back, every day, all week.

At the same time, Ola, in another municipality in Norway, has just started 5th grade. Ola is in a wheelchair and needs help to get around. Ola thinks it is stupid that he has to take a long detour to get to his classroom, because his school is not adapted for wheelchairs. He has a number of hours with BPA (user-controlled personal assistance) at home, but his assistants are not allowed by the municipality to be with the school. 

Ola is also angry with the municipality because they force him to go to after-school instead of giving him more BPA lessons at home. Ola feels that he is being punished for sitting in a wheelchair! None of his friends use SFO anymore, but he has to stay with younger students at school when he could rather go home with his BPA assistants and play TV games or hang out with a friend. Of course, Ola's parents have to work and the municipality pushes them into a corner with choices that are impossible to make. Should they stay at home with Ola and lose wages, or let him stay at SFO against his will?

There are many children like Ola and Silje around the country. Children who do not get the security and facilitation they need, and who do not get to experience mastery based on the assumptions they have. Children who struggle to fit into everyday life at school, and who lose most of their self-confidence and zest for life along the way.

10-year-old Lise feels like this, she doesn't get the accommodation she needs at school either. Writing assignments are a nightmare, she just can't handle it, and now she is tasked with writing a fairy tale. Only when her parents suggest that she can write a fairy tale about something that interests her does it loosen up. Lise's adventure is about a troll who sits in a wheelchair, a superhero with Down syndrome and a squirrel with celiac disease. It's the kind of adventure that brings tears to the eyes of us lion moms and lion dads. The parents are looking forward to the next meeting with the school. Lise has never written so much before! Instead, they are asked by the teacher whether they think it is okay for Lise to twist the writing tasks in that way, the fairy tale lacks both princes and princesses. That kind of attitude says a lot. Where is the understanding? Where is the inclusion? Where is the focus on mastery?

We at Løvemammaene unfortunately notice a bad culture in many schools in Norway today. A culture where parents experience being made suspicious and not taken seriously, and are instead described as "difficult". Parents only want the best for their child, and are also the ones who know the child best. What we find to be very special, and worthy of criticism, is that many schools do not listen to professionals around the child either. Of course, there are also good schools, schools with humble and listening people, who have a genuine desire to give the children a safe and good school environment, and who have a will to create changes. As of today, however, there are far too large differences between the schools. We therefore want national guidelines that schools must adhere to in this area. 

We do not want to hear more examples of children not doing well at school, where parents' concerns are not heard. We would rather hear stories about children like little Marius, who started 2nd grade this autumn. Marius also had a lump in his stomach. When the parents contacted the school before the start of school, they were taken seriously and the school asked the parents what they could do to make things as good as possible for Marius. Together, the school and the parents came up with a plan that everyone was happy with. 

Marius still had a painful lump in his stomach on the first day of school. He didn't feel completely safe, even though the adults had made a plan. He had to feel it on his body, yes – experience being seen and looked after at school. On the first day of school, Marius was given a safe hand to hold on the way to the classroom and he was allowed to sit far forward, close to the teacher. He also experienced mastery by being able to help the teacher hand out books to his classmates and he noticed that the adults at school cared about him. On the third day of school, the lump in his stomach was much smaller and Marius didn't cry when he said good bye to mom in the schoolyard.

These are the kinds of schools our children need.

- Elin Gunnarsson & Ingri Bergin Solem
on behalf of the Kindergarten and School Committee